Blogs for DynaThom.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARBOR GIRL

06-MAR-09

Happy Birthday to You Happy Birthday to You Happy Birthday Dear Arbor Girl May Your Day Be Real Good. (See why I steal other peoples poetry instead of writing my own?)

Freedom's Just Another Word

31-DEC-08

I recently posted a blog called "Tickle Them Ivories" which included the lyrics to the Kristopherson?song below.? Somehow, the Blog survived but all the words went away - but - I wanted this song up so, here it is again.

Busted flat in Baton Rouge, heading for the trains,
Feelin nearly faded as my jeans.
Bobby thumbed a diesel down just before it rained,took us all the way to New Orleans.
Took my harpoon out of my dirty red bandana
And was blowin sad while Bobby sang the blues,
With them windshield wipers slappin time and
Bobby clapping hands with mine

we finally sang up every song
That driver knew.

Freedoms just another word for nothin left to lose,
And nothin aint worth nothin but its free,
Feelin good was easy, lord, when Bobby sang the blues,
And buddy, that was good enough for me,
Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee.

From the coalmines of Kentucky to the California sun,
Bobby shared the secrets of my soul,
Standin right beside me through everything I done,
And every night she kept me from the cold.
Then somewhere near Salinas, Lord, I let her slip away,
She was looking for the love I hope she ll find,
Well Id trade all my tomorrows for a single yesterday,
Holding Bobby?s body close to mine.

Freedoms just another word for nothin left to lose,
And nothin aint worth nothin but its free,
Feelin good was easy, lord, when Bobby sang the blues,
And buddy, that was good enough for me,
Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee.

Crash of 08

18-DEC-08

Back in the 1929 Financial Crash, it was said that some Wall Street Stockbrokers and Bankers JUMPED from their office windows and committed suicide when confronted with the news of their firms and clients financial ruin. Many people were said to almost feel a little sorry for them . . . In 2008, the attitude has changed somewhat:

Profile Updated

10-DEC-08

When I first open this Wacky Program and get the Welcome Screen, or My Account Page, whatever, there is now a message in bold blue letters which says Profile last updated on 02/12/04. Say what? First time I saw that message I went to my profile and, there they were - 14 photos all taken AFTER 2004. It shows Age 66 - it's the same profile I last updated some time within the past month. On 02/12/04 I was a young 61 year-old. I have no idea what my profile said in the blocks describing myself and what I was seeking, some meaningless drivel no doubt. Thinking back, though, during the years that followed I found much MUCH better than the drivel I had written, here on BK. I found Friends. When I scroll down through my "Favorites" I find Profiles from Oklahoma and other places which haven't changed since 2004. I even have, in my favorites, a profile for someone who died over two years ago - someone I never met - the news that she had died was posted on the blogs . . . All the blogs posted over the past couple of years which contained gripes and complaints about the so-called Service from BK (and this blog IS one of those) - add them all up and there is so much Negative Energy I can't believe the darned website hasn't turned into a huge flaming bag of poo. Apparently there are about six of us who are still "Preferred Members" - - - and in my case, it's because I'm some kind of die-hard idiot. I don't LIKE that other site. I have what might be called Residual Affection for BK because of the Blogs. No, they sure ain't what they used to be. But - they are still here, some of us are still here, and it's still fun to post some of my ramblings (like this one) and to Visit with people I like, read each others' comments, and generally, have contact with some good and nice people. Contact I wouldn't have if I left BK - - - did I mention I don't like that other site? So - I'm still a goldmember. I didn't say I've GOT ONE, I said I am one. I could have put that $56 with some more $ and gotten myself an orange authorized Caterpillar Fine Fuel Filter for Christmas - but instead - I gave it to BK's parent company (a group which appears to be staffed by people whose native tongue seems to be English!). And I'm glad I did. I am very VERY Thankful for the Friends I have found on BK. DT BTW - This photo was taken in February 2004. Note brand new leathers (the creaked); Bambi - thin whitewalls, very little Chrome, no pinstripes - but even so, by then, she had loud pipes. :^)

Congratulations to the Milfs!!!

02-DEC-08

My Wonderful Friend Sam - AKA MilfMom - tied the knot this past weekend - entering into a Lifetime Partnership with her Super Honey. I wish them Great Big Huge Blessings, and whatever problems they have may they be little teeny weeny ones. :^) Hopefuly Sam will post some photos here . . . of the Wedding, Sam!!! Not the Honeymoon!!!! SAM!!!!! DT

Happy Birthday Regret

19-NOV-08

And a fine belated Happy Birthday to Miss Regret59!!!! :^)

Needing Regret

03-NOV-08

I just got this - an Irsh Blessing - from my Choctaw Daughter. It touched me very deeply - and so I am sharing it here: I wish you not a path devoid of clouds, Nor a life on a bed of roses; Not that you might never need regret, nor that you should never feel pain. No that is not my wish for you. My wish for you is that you might be brave in times of trial; when others lay crosses upon your shoulders. When mountains must be climbed and chasms crossed, When hope scarce can shine through That every gift God gave you might grow; And let you give the gift of joy to all who care for you; That you may always have a friend worthy of the name, That you can trust and who helps you in times of sadness; Who will defy the storms of daily life at your side. One more wish I have for you that in every hour of joy and pain you may feel God close to you. This is my wish your for you and all who care for you. - - - - - - - Thank you Weona, and Hailito Friend to You. DT

Two Hearts Beating as One

09-OCT-08

Doctors have long known that stress hormones such as cortisol, epinephrine and norepinephrine that are raised by grief can take a damaging toll on the body. But there may be other forces at play as well. Research shows that in some cases, one persons heartbeat can affect, even regulate, anothers, possibly acting as a type of life support. In one such study, Rollin McCraty, research director at the Institute of HeartMath in Boulder Creek, Calif., looked at what happened to six longtime couples hearts while they slept. Heart-rate monitors revealed that during the night, as the couple slept beside each other, their heart rhythms fell into sync, rising and falling at the same time. When the printouts of their EKGs were placed on top of each other, they looked virtually the same. Quote: When people are in a relationship for 20, 30, 40, 50 years, they create sort of a co-energetic resonance with each other, says Lipsenthal, who is the past director of Dr. Dean Ornishs Preventative Medicine Research Institute in Sausalito, Calif. (Quote): A simple analogy is two tuning forks, put next to each other. They create a co-resonant pitch. What happens when two people sleep together for 50 years? What happens when one goes away? In recent years, another condition has come to light: Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, also known as Broken Heart Syndrome. The condition nearly always follows a traumatic emotional loss, such as death of a spouse, parent or child and it primarily affects women. It causes chest pain and sudden heart failure, believed to be brought on by a surge of fight or flight hormones, says Dr. Barbara Messinger-Rapport, a geriatrician at the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio. Patients with the condition tend to recover faster than most other heart patients, says Messinger-Rapport. And if they survive the initial bout, it almost never recurs. Is it possible to die of a broken heart? says Wechkin. Absolutely.

Bambi's Last Run???

06-OCT-08

An emphatic NO. Although I thought so for a while. As I have posted on here previously, this Summer I bought an RV - a motor home which I have named (because I name stuff - boat people tend to be like that) HATARI. At the time I bought it I was certain I would have to sell either the New Jeep or Bambi to make the dollar$ coming in wrap around the amount needed to go out. At first it was going to be the Red Jeep - which would have broken my Heart - and then I thought maybe it should be Bambi. Which I then realized would mean breaking my Soul. So - through some creative actions (legal!!!) taken in the days immediately prior to the Current Financial Whatchyamacallit, I have managed to establish things in a way that, for now and the immediate future, at least, Bambi still belongs to DT. Now, for the record, I bought Bambi while living in Oklahoma City, from the HD dealer in Albuquerque, and the bike was delivered to me in OK in a trailer. Since that time, every mile Bambi has travelled has been on her own two wheels, with my butt in the saddle. In other words - she's never been trailered. Not to Colorado, not any of the numerous trips to Texas and New Mexico, not to South Dakota and Wyoming, and not to Utah. Right now I am checking out devices to mount on Hatari's back end with which to hoist Bambi up snugly (and safely) to the motorhome's fantail and still be able to tow a Jeep in line astern. All this is in preparation for retirement, which gets further off into the future every day. :^) My question is - if I haul Bambi hoisted - more or less aboard - the motor home - is that as degrading as putting her on a trailer? DT

For One As Yet UnNamed

13-OCT-08

Love is such a fragile thing. It always is; it never was. It's self-assured, misunderstood. It wants to be an anchor but resents the chain. It takes liberties while vowing to stay true. It exaggerates while feigning chaste demureness. It drives when it should walk, leaps when it should crawl, and flies without a single lesson. It pretends when isn't, doesn't know when is. It pleasures me, ignores another. It insults me and curtsies to one just behind. Love is real while being false. It waltzes by, never turns while turning, turning on itself. It is alive and dead, revived, and lives again. It is granted to those who wait. Perhaps. It is wishes, dreams, sometimes even actuality. It is a supernova streaking while being only superficial. Officially it's meant to bind. But will not do so without help. It can save you, enslave you . . . but never from yourself. Love, the beginning of the end, the end as a beginning. Written by, . . . You know. :^) DT

When They've Finished . . .

01-OCT-08

I heard this on the radio last Sunday morning - it touched something deep within me. Maybe because I have always felt there is a bond between those who ride Motorcycles - and those who came before. Though you're not exactly blue, Yet you don't feel like you do In the winter, or the long hot summer days. For your feelin's and the weather Seem to sort of go together, And you're quiet in the dreamy autumn haze. When the last big steer is goaded Down the chute, and safely loaded; And the summer crew has ceased to hit the ball; When a fellow starts to draggin' To the home ranch with the wagon When they've finished shipping cattle in the fall. Only two men left a standin' On the job for winter brandin', And your pardner, he's a loafing by your side. With a bran-new saddle creakin', But you never hear him speakin', And you feel it's goin' to be a quiet ride. But you savvy one another For you know him like a brother He is friendly but he's quiet, that is all; For he' thinkin' while he's draggin' To the home ranch with the wagon When they've finished shippin' cattle in the fall. And the saddle hosses stringin' At an easy walk a swingin' In behind the old chuck wagon movin' slow. They are weary gaunt and jaded With the mud and brush they've waded, And they settled down to business long ago. Not a hoss is feelin' sporty, Not a hoss is actin' snorty; In the spring the brutes was full of buck and bawl; But they 're gentle, when they're draggin' To the home ranch with the wagon When they've finished shippin' cattle in the fall. And the cook leads the retreat Perched high upon his wagon seat, With his hat pulled 'way down furr'wd on his head. Used to make that old team hustle, Now he hardly moves a muscle, And a feller might imagine he was dead, 'Cept his old cob pipe is smokin' As he lets his team go pokin', Hittin' all the humps and hollers in the road. No, the cook has not been drinkin'? He's just settin' there and thinkin' 'Bout the places and the people that he knowed And you watch the dust a trailin' And two little clouds a sailin', And a big mirage like lakes and timber tall. And you're lonesome when you're draggin' To the home ranch with the wagon When they've finished shippin' cattle in the fall. When you make the camp that night, Though the fire is burnin' bright, Yet nobody seems to have a lot to say, In the spring you sung and hollered, Now you git your supper swallered And you crawl into your blankets right away. Then you watch the stars a shinin' Up there in the soft blue linin' And you sniff the frosty night air clear and cool. You can hear the night hoss shiftin' As your memory starts driftin' To the little village where you went to school. With its narrow gravel streets And the kids you used to meet, And the common where you used to play baseball. Now you're far away and draggin' To the home ranch with the wagon For they've finished shippin' cattle in the fall. And your school-boy sweetheart too, With her eyes of honest blue? Best performer in the old home talent show. You were nothin' but a kid But you liked her, sure you did Lord! And that was over thirty years ago. Then your memory starts to roam From Old Mexico to Nome. From the Rio Grande to the Powder River, Of the things you seen and done Some of them was lots of fun And a lot of other things they make you shiver. 'Bout that boy by name of Reid That was killed in a stampede 'Twas away up north, you helped 'em dig his grave, And your old friend Jim the boss That got tangled with a hoss, And the fellers couldn't reach in time to save. You was there when Ed got his'n Boy that killed him's still in prison, And old Lucky George, he's rich and livin' high. Poor old Tom, he come off worst, Got his leg broke, died of thirst Lord but that must be an awful way to die. Then them winters at the ranches, And the old time country dances? Everybody there was sociable and gay. Used to lead 'em down the middle Jest a prancin' to the fiddle Never thought of goin' home till the break of day. No! there ain't no chance for sleepin', For the memories come a creepin', And sometimes you think you hear the voices call; When a feller starts a draggin' To the home ranch with the wagon When they've finished shippin' cattle in the fall. Bruce Kiskaddon From the 1924 version of Rhymes of the Ranges.

DT gets Serious for a moment.

13-SEP-08

I woke up this morning from a really bad dream - I had gone back to sleep on the couch with the Weather Channel on. OMG. The people being battered by Hurricanes (and even if you evacuate, your life is still being battered) have to be in great need of many many things. Not the least of which is moral and morale support. My heart goes out to all - on our coast and the people of Cuba, Haiti/Dominica and all the islands in the Caribbean. They can't pack their bags and drive to Dallas to escape. At the risk of sounding like a Holy Roller Preacher (I do come from that stock) I hope everyone will pray - in their own way - for everyone affected by these storms. Prayer works, Folks. It really, really does. DT

Don't Come Lookin Again

11-SEP-08

Swamp Witch Black water Hattie lived back in the swamp Where the strange green reptiles crawl Snakes hang thick from the cypress trees Like sausage on a smokehouse wall Where the swamp is alive with a thousand eyes An' all of them watching you Stay off the track to Hattie's Shack in the back of the Black Bayou Way up the road from Hattie's Shack Lies a sleepy little Okeechobee town Talk of swamp witch Hattie lock you in when the sun go down Rumours of what she'd done, rumours of what she'd do Kept folks off the track of Hattie's shack In the back of the Black Bayou One day brought the rain and the rain stayed on And the swamp water overflowed 'skeeters and the fever grabbed the town like a fist Doctor Jackson was the first to go Some say the plague was brought by Hattie There was talk of a hang'n too But the talk got shackled by the howls and the cackles From the bowels of the Black bayou Early one morn 'tween dark and dawn when shadows filled the sky There came an unseen caller on a town where road run dry You'd swear there was found a big black round Vat full of gurgling brew Whispering sounds as the folk gathered round "It came from the Black Bayou" There ain't much pride when you're trapped inside A slowly sink'n ship Scooped up the liquid deep and green And the whole town took a sip Fever went away and the very next day the skies again were blue Let's thank old hattie for sav'n our town We'll fetch her from the Black Bayou Party of ten of the town's best men headed for Hattie's Shack Said Swamp Witch magic was useful and good And they're gonna bring hattie back Never found Hattie and they never found the shack Never made the trip back in There was a parchment note they found tacked to a stump Said don't come look'n again Jim Stafford, who is only 2 years younger than your Friendly DTDJ, was born in 1944. Swamp Witch, which was his first hit, hit the charts in 1974. DT

One Step Ahead of the Law

05-SEP-08

Now the Street Folks called em Chance and the Dancer Just the Slickest Team Around; But the High Sherrif done got hip to their trip And they were out to put him down. So she threw on this sexy dress And she trucked to the Drinkin Store; And while the Drinkers were starin At what she was wearin Chance walked thru the Door. Oh Lawd Mercy Me!! Wait till You See what I Saw; Oh Lawd Mercy Me!! Just one step ahead of the Law. Chance gave the Sign And She Knew it was Time Cause Theyd Done it all Before; So She Began to Shakin and movin and makin Her Way to the Dancin Floor; Now Chance slipped a Quarter to the Ole Juke Box And all the Dudes began to Clap; Its True You can catch the Big Ones Honey If You know how to Bait The Trap. Her Body Started doing some Amazing Things As the Crowd Jumped to their Feet; And Chance? He just picked that room full of pockets And Slipped Right out to the Street Pretty Neat!!! Oh No Mercy Me!! Wait till You See what I Saw; Oh No Mercy Me!! Just one step ahead of the Law. When the crowd caught on all their money was gone They started One Hell of a Fight; Cause all they could find was a sexy dress, See the Lady done slipped outa sight; She met Chance out Back with the Cadillac Now theyre headed for YOUR Town; You Better Glue Yore Money To your Blue Jeans Honey When Chance and The Dancer Get Down. Singin Oh No Mercy Me!! I Still Dont Believe what I Saw; Oh No Mercy Me!! Just one step ahead of the Law. Oh No Mercy Me!! Wait till You See what I Saw; Oh No Mercy Me!! Just one step ahead of the Law. Jim Stafford (of course) :^) DT

Olympics? TV?

31-AUG-08

There are other sports at the Summer Olympics besides Women's Beach Volleyball? I have no idea - but apparently the following words were spoken on live TV regarding several different venues: 1. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.' 2. Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.' 3. Weightlifting Commentator: 'This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.' 4. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.' 5. Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.' 6. Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.' 7. At the rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the Cox of the British crew.' 8. Soccer commentator: 'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.' 9. Tennis commentator: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?' DT

TwentySomethings

21-AUG-08

I have not the faintest idea what I might ever have in common with any 21 year old female on planet. That includes 21 year old females on Biker Kiss, other than Motorcycles and the fact that we are of the same species. Although, the more I see these days the less sure I am of the same species part. Now, it is certainly an ego stroke for a 65 year old guy to be approached by a 20 something - - - at least it is for this 65 year old ? but there is also the rational thought? WHY? Or WTF??? Well, I wouldd like to give my official announcement that I would prefer that no more 21 year old BK females who live in Utah but just happen to be stranded in some foreign country contact me with offers of love and marriage. I just bought a motor home and I flat do not have the money to pay your air fare from Bumfuck, Egypt (or wherever) to Salt Lake City. And if I did have the money, I wouldn?t send it to you. I mean, I am sure you are sincere, and really look like your photos and you really have fallen in love with me from looking at my profile on BK. No doubts in my Military Mind. But you are too damn young for me. So, send the naked pictures to DemoMan and the bills for your airfare to OldHarleyLover, Okay? DT

175 Years Old

19-AUG-08

A long time ago, in an Oklahoma far far away (from Utah) I was stationed at a small Naval Activity a long, long way from the nearest ocean. One of my "shipmates" (called that, even on "shore duty" - sure as hell not gonna call anyone a "shore-mate"!!!) was an Oklahoma Native Son doing his "Twilight Tour" (last tour of duty before he retired). He was a very nice guy, very generous. He did have a habit of exaggerated exaggeration. He would bring a basket of tomatoes grown on his Mother's farm "down the road a'piece" the smallest of which were the size of cantelouopes - the largest - the size of dwarf watermelons. These were brought in for the crew to share - take home, whatever. When someone would say, "My god those are big tomatoes," he would say, "Ah them's the little'uns." Well, that was okay. They were damn good tomatoes. He had another habit, which, after some months, become somewhat irritating. Every time someone would mention something, he had done it. Say, "My Dad drove a dump truck..." this sailor (let's call him Jerry cause that wasn't his name) Jerry would say, "I used to drive a dump truck for the Santa Fe Railroad." Mention a bartender, Jerry would say, "You know, Bartendin's one of the most fun jobs I ever had." It got to where people would plan conversations to mention some job or hobby or another, to see what story Jerry would tell about it. In addition to being a Sailor for 20 years, Jerry had driven the above dump truck, been a bartender, soda jerk, policeman, detective, FBI agent, driven race cars on the track at Neuremburg, raced motorcycles for "Harley Davis," and invented Polaroid Cameras for Mr. Land. Among other things. A common joke was that to have done everything he claimed to have done Jerry (who was in his late 30's at the time) would have to be about 125 years old. What got me to thinking about Jerry was, I was looking over my resume the other day, and thinking about all the jobs that I have held which are NOT on my resume. I got my first job when I was 12 - sweeping classrooms after school at Washington Avenue Elementary School in Roswell, New Mexico, circa 1955. I've lived a long time since then, and have worked a lot of places. I had a whole slug of jobs before I went into the Navy and, during my 21 years in the Nav, I had a slew of part time (and some not-so-part-time) jobs - which, amazingly, included cop, detective and bartender, among several others. So, I guess, when I talk about having been a DJ, or driving a fork lift, counting money on Sunday nights for Feed the Children, or tying down cargo aboard airplanes, people may very well say the same thing about me that we used to say about Jerry - - - only in my case, they probably say I must be at least 175 years old. DT

DJDT

18-AUG-08

I don't sing 'em, I spin 'em. I actually was a DJ at one time - while in High School, my Junior Year, I worked at a daylight hours only AM station, after school and on Sundays. KSRC Radio Socorro, New Mexico. My Burdgeoning Career in Showbiz ended when my family moved to Oklahoma City. Jim Stafford hadn't shown up yet, in 1959; if he had, you could bet I would have played his crazy stuff. Like: I remember when Mary Lou said "You wanna walk me home from school" And I said, "Yes, I do" She said, "I don't have to go right home And I'm the kind that likes to be alone As long as you would" I said, "Me, too" And so we took a stroll Wound up down by the swimmin' hole And she said, "Do what you want to do" I got silly and I found a frog In the water by a hollow log And I shook it at her And I said "This frog's for you" And She said, "I don't like spiders and snakes And that ain't what it takes to love me You fool, you fool I don't like spiders and snakes And that ain't what it takes to love me Like I want to be loved by you" Well, I think of that girl from time to time I call her up when I got a dime I say, "Hello, baby" She says, "Ain't you cool" I say, "Do you remember when" And, "Would you like to get together again" She says, "I'll see you after school" I was shy and so for a while Most of my love was touch and smile Til she said, "Come on over here" I was nervous as you might guess Still looking for somethin' to slip down her dress And she said, "Let's make it perfectly clear" She said, "I don't like spiders and snakes And that ain't what it takes to love me You fool, you fool I don't like spiders and snakes And that ain't what it takes to love me Like I want to be loved by you" You gotta admit, nobody writes song like that anymore. DT

A little lite music please

30-JUL-08

I said yeah yeah No no no no no no Now listen to me My wife ran off with the garbage man My wife ran off with the garbage man Now I don't miss that woman But somebody gotta empty my can. Now let me tell you what happened I came home the other night Caught the two of you alone And you told me he was a nudist Who came in to use the phone. Well I come from Alabama baby And I got this banjo on my knee Now you know I love to pick the banjo Why does the whole wide world gotta pick on me? Listen to this honey I'm gon' to take him over to my place I'm gonna stomp on his head I'm gon' kill him so bad He gonna wish he was dead Then I'm gonna mess with YOU baby Now let me tell you what I'm gonna do I'm gonna take you to a secret place Where I got a vat full of dippity doo Sixteen little red noses and a horse that sweats Gonna dip you in that dippity doo Tie a rubber band around my fanny And run around you screamin' like I'm an airplane And make me take off Cause I love you baby oh Love you pretty Momma Yeah I love yeah yeah yeah No no no no no Yeah Damn I love the 70's. That was Jim Stafford, 16 little red noses and a horse that sweats. Eat your heart out, Tobey Keith. DT

Robert Service I

15-JUL-08

Unforgotten I know a garden where the lilies gleam, And one who lingers in the sunshine there; She is than white-stoled lily far more fair, And oh, her eyes are heaven-lit with dream! I know a garret, cold and dark and drear, And one who toils and toils with tireless pen, Until his brave, sad eyes grow weary -- then He seeks the stars, pale, silent as a seer. And ah, it's strange; for, desolate and dim, Between these two there rolls an ocean wide; Yet he is in the garden by her side And she is in the garret there with him.

In a Bar

25-JUN-08

A crusty old biker, on a summer ride in the country, walks into a tavern and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $1000.00 Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender serving drinks to a meagre looking group of farmers. Yes? she inquires with a knowing smile, Can I help you? I was wondering, whispers the old biker, Are you the young lady who gives the hand-jobs?' Yes, she purrs, I am. The old biker replies, Well wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger. DT

Inspirational Story

11-JUN-08

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the in 1986, Peter couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed his stupid arse against the railing, killing him instantly. Probably wasn't the same elephant.

Flag Day

10-JUN-08

Some of you may remember - I did this last year. I've been communicating the Flag Day Speech from The Sand Pebbles to SomeBody every year for a long time. Lieutenant Collins, Captain of USS San Pablo, played by Richard Crenna: Today we begin cruising to show the flag on Tungting Lake and the Hunan Rivers. I want all honors rendered smartly. At home in America, when today reaches them it will be Flag Day. For us who wear the uniform every day is Flag Day. It is said that there will be no more wars. We must pretend to believe that. But when war comes, it is we who will take the first shock, and buy time with our lives. It is we who keep the Faith... We serve the Flag. The trade we all follow is the give and take of death. It is for that purpose that the people of America maintain us. And anyone of us who believes he has a job like any other, for which he draws a money wage, is a thief of the food he eats, and a trespasser in the bunk in which he lies down to sleep. From The Sand Pebbles by Richard McKenna

Bumper Sticker

06-JUN-08

I can't believe my Mom sent me an e-mail asking if I wanted her to send me a Free Obama bumper-sticker. For one thing - I'd go to jail for what I would do to someone who put a bumper sticker on one of my vehicles!!! Second thing - I didn't know Obama needed freeing. What's he in for? DT

TOMMY

28-MAY-08

Rudyard Kipling's Tommy. I went into a public-'ouse to get a pint o' beer, The publican 'e up an' sez, We serve no red-coats here. The girls be'ind the bar they laughed an' giggled fit to die, I outs into the street again an' to myself sez I: O it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, go away"; But it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play, The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play, O it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play. I went into a theatre as sober as could be, They gave a drunk civilian room, but 'adn't none for me; They sent me to the gallery or round the music-'alls, But when it comes to fightin', Lord! they'll shove me in the stalls! For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' Tommy, wait outside; But it's Special train for Atkins when the trooper's on the tide, The troopship's on the tide, my boys, the troopship's on the tide, O it's Special train for Atkins when the trooper's on the tide. Yes, makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep Is cheaper than them uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap; An' hustlin' drunken soldiers when they're goin' large a bit Is five times better business than paradin' in full kit. Then it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' Tommy, 'ow's yer soul? But it's Thin red line of 'eroes when the drums begin to roll, The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll, O it's Thin red line of 'eroes when the drums begin to roll. We aren't no thin red 'eroes, nor we aren't no blackguards too, But single men in barricks, most remarkable like you; An' if sometimes our conduck isn't all your fancy paints, Why, single men in barricks don't grow into plaster saints; While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' Tommy, fall be'ind, But it's Please to walk in front, sir, when there's trouble in the wind, There's trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the wind, O it's Please to walk in front, sir, when there's trouble in the wind. You talk o' better food for us, an' schools, an' fires, an' all: We'll wait for extry rations if you treat us rational. Don't mess about the cook-room slops, but prove it to our face The Widow's Uniform is not the soldier-man's disgrace. For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' Chuck him out, the brute! But it's Saviour of 'is country when the guns begin to shoot; An' it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' anything you please; An' Tommy ain't a bloomin' fool -- you bet that Tommy sees!

Cat Tails

14-MAY-08

Some flowers on the table in a jar, a few have dropped their petals, A few more brave it on. Your dress arches, falls across a chair-back, My socks, your underwear are left unreconciled, confetti scattered pre-parade. Crumpled bills, some pennies and a quarter from an out-turned pocket make a still-life where they spilled. From the hallway where a lamp is on a strand of light that does not punctuate but only stretches to a wall. A radio was playing but the frequency has faded. Cough of static. Words and music fade. Drift. Are back again. Lightning shudders at the window. A hollow belch of thunder as an afterthought. Away. Away. First drops fall. I believe you love me, but what if it rains? apres vous by Rod Mckuen

This answers some questions

09-MAY-08

I discovered this quite by accident. I can't reveal the source but it's at least as reliable as many gov't agencies. This is the REAL BK Control Tower. Now in Canada - that's just a Front. This is right across the street from the Customer Service Center for United Airlines.

Talking Clock

12-MAY-08

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet. What's with that big brass gong?one of the guests asked. It's not a gong. It's a talking clock, the drunk replied. A talking clock? Seriously? asked his astonished friend. Yup, replied the drunk. How's it work?' the friend asked, squinting at it. Watch, the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, You asshole...it's three-fifteen in the morning! DT

Cut This

08-MAY-08

SuccessfulMatch dot com - I'm talking to you. What in the name of all that is holy is the matter with you? Why all this silly censorship garbage - pulling blogs - I can't believe you pulled PuffDaddy's adieu blog!!! What a bunch of pathetic paranoid pissants. And why am I still a gold member? After you chose to pay yourselves to continue my gold membership I unpaid you yesterday. Get with it, you Creeps. Toss my butt out of here. PLEASE don't throw me in that Briarpatch!!! DT

Poetry

01-MAY-08

I can do prose - I can do boilerplate - have been a reporter - and (hateful job) a Courts-Martial Recorder. We won't even talk about the novels. Might talk about the children's book. It's a dog story. Can't do Poetry. Which I guess is why I admire it so much - admire people who can create it - why I quote poetry - and songs. Promises. (Eric Clapton Song) Richard Feldman and Roger Linn I dont care if you never come home, I dont mind if you just keep on Rowing away on a distant sea, cause I dont love you and you dont love me. You cause a commotion when you come to town; You give 'em a smile and they melt. Having lovers and friends is all good and fine, But I dont like yours and you dont like mine. I dont care what you do at night, Oh, and I dont care how you get your delights. Im gonna leave you alone, Ill just let it be, I dont love you and you dont love me. I got a problem. can you relate? I got a woman calling love hate. We made a vow we would always be friends. How could we know that promises end? I tried to love you for years upon years, You refuse to take me for real. Its time you saw what I want you to see, And Id still love you if youd just love me.

Poetry II

02-MAY-08

SACRAMENT I like my body lying next to yours. I like my leg against your leg and over it the muscle quivering to touch the luxury of thighs that open onto thighs. I like our sighs together and I like my body lying next to yours at night and every morning. I wear you coming next to you as I would a clean cotton shirt soft to the touch you are and tingling. And everything you touch is but a punctuation to yourself. I love the loss of vagrancy inside your arms your fingers swarming on my back like bees attacking single flower. The light from out your eyelids coming. The puzzled humming in my ear as you nod yes not having heard the question that I asked. Your hair unmasked for what it is - a tangled web of craziness is like a whim not taken up. So too your mouth is glowing, fair, runs hot and cold and in no pattern. I like our elbows, noses, knees interrupting rhythms that should be truer. Your breasts are skillful, genius each, priceless in a bed world whose currency is chance. I love the ample of you and the lean the part of you expecting flesh and rising up to meet it. The symmetry of you is what I love odd angles too those energy propelling sighs and little cries from you. The ivory underside of you the tanned and glowing legs and arms. I love the winding of you as much as the unwinding. The kindness of your inner ear is more than I can bear to speak about. All honey to the heart, all pasture to the eyes the size of you is one great breath taken in, held, not expelled, not ever. Ingenious are your ankles, calves, hips stepping stones to that great wonder on ahead. What I love most in all the world is my own body next to yours. It is a vanity, a wonderful conceit. Do I hafta' tell who wrote it???? I wish wish wish I could say it was me DT But no.

Truth be told . . .

29-APR-08

John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change. One day, John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector. It was just about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late. `Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?,` they asked. `Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project` said Tommy. The Robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair. `Son, this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you went after school.` `We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie.` `What did you watch?` asked Marsha. `The Ten Commandments.` answered Tommy. The Robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair. With lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, `I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen.` `I'm ashamed of you Son,` said John. `When I was your age, I never lied to my parents.` The robot then walked around to John and delivered a roundhouse that nearly knocked him out of his chair. Marsha was bent over laughing, almost in tears. `Boy, did you ever ask for that one! And you can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, He is your son!` The Robot immediately walked around to Marsha, and slapped her silly.

Doyuh Think???

17-APR-08

Men are more likely than women to have problems with memory and other thinking skills, symptoms considered to be an early stage of dementia, research suggests. The new study, to be presented at an annual meeting of the American Academy of Neurology in Chicago this week, expands the field of research on aging and memory into a touchy arena - cognitive differences among men and women. Forgetfulness linked with aging, or just a frenzied day, is normal - such as misplacing your car keys or wallet, or not being able to remember where you parked the car. Red flags should pop up when you start forgetting things you normally remember, and on a routine basis, such as weekly appointments, doctors say. These are signs of so-called mild cognitive impairment (MCI), which can lead to some shit I can't remember. DT

Questions without answers?

18-MAR-08

Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese? Dear Abby, What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR? Dear Abby, I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his. Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him. Dear Abby, I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again. Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own? Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out? Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy. Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober. Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short tempered I think she is going through mental pause. Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?

Scotts-Irish

17-MAR-08

Okay - more Scotts than Irish - close to 100% Scott on my Dad's side - good mixture of Scotts Irish and American Indian on my Mom's side. Anyway, before we drink too much green beer, I wanted to toss out a wonderful song as it was originally written in an Irish Brogue Dialect, in 1908: Mighty Lak' a Rose (Frank L. Stanton, Ethelbert Nevin) Sweetest l'il feller, Everybody knows; Dunno what to call him, But he mighty lak' a rose! Lookin' at his Mammy Wid eyes so shiny blue, Mek' you think that heav'n Is comin' clost-ter you! W'en he's a dar a-sleepin', In his li'l place, Think I see de angels Lookin' thro' de lace. When de dark is fallin', When de shadders creep, Den dey comes on tiptoe Ter kiss 'im in his sleep. Sweetest l'il feller, Everybody knows; Dunno what to call him, But he mighty lak' a rose! Lookin' at his Mammy Wid eyes so shiny blue, Mek' you think that heav'n Is comin' clost-ter you! - - - - Now (it's hard not to slip into writing in dialect at this point) my own Daddy used to sing this song to me when I was a tiny kid - and I have to admit - I sometimes sing it to my dog Pau - of course - I make up my own lyrics - I don't believe even my Dad ever sang it "He don't smell much like a Rose." DT

A Certain Mood . . . .

14-MAR-08

Think Aaron Neville singing . . . We held each other 'til the moon was high We waved that sleepy little town good bye And driving off together we crossed our hearts Living for the promise that love would keep us honest I said I'd be yours if you'd be mine We were crazy baby And every day the sun was sure to shine But it tried and tried Sometimes the wind makes a sudden change And some days are made for rain We fixed a tire and we drove like hell We kissed like fire in a cheap motel I never felt the hunger so bad before Holding you beside me Walls came down inside me And I thought I was yours and you were mine That was crazy baby I was sure the sun would always shine But it tried and tried Sometimes the wind makes a sudden change And some days are made for rain You want to talk about love I'll tell you all about love Nothing but trouble On top of falling One day you're walking on air Next day you look and there's no one there She never cared She never cared Now I've been sleeping with the tv on I get so tired of wondering where you've gone You tore across my heart like a hurricane I'm counting up the damage Trying hard to manage I thought I was yours and you were mine That was crazy baby And I was sure the sun would always shine But take a look outside Sometimes a wind makes a sudden change Here comes those clouds and they're full of pain Some days are made for rain Some days are made for rain Let it pour outside Some days are made for rain Some days are made for rain Phil Galdston / Jon Lind

Western Union

11-MAR-08

The telegram arrived in Navy Message format so it was addressed to the Commanding Officer USS QUAPAW (ATF-110) for delivery to SN Douglas R Thompson USN - - - is was from Ray W. Thompson Midwest City Oklahoma - then below all the Navy and Western Union Gibberish it said, CONGRATULATIONS DAD ITS A BOY. DEL C-SECT 3-11-63 8:45 A.M. CST. HE'S A PREEMIE - 4.5 LBS - IN THE INCUBATOR. CALL SOON. DAD What with the time difference between Hawaii and who knows what kind of exchange between Western Union and the Navy, I didn't receive the message until about 7 p.m. the next evening. God help me - I have a kid who is 45 years old. There were times when I would have bet even money that either he wouldn't live to see 45 or I wouldn't . . . live to see 45 my own self, much less 65. Times have changed so much in 45 years, and believe me, they have been very short, fast years. I wish I still owned the car I'd bought just before I got married (62 Buick Special Convert) - for that matter - I wish I still owned the 50 Plymouth I bought in Hawaii, when the new baby and his Mom moved there. I wish JFK had never been murdered and that LBJ had never become president. I wish that during the winter of 64-65 I had worked much harder on being a Student at Universtiy of Oklahoma and not even bothered to write a novel (yes about the Navy). (Yes, still unpublished.) I wish a lot of things. Anyway, even though he will never see it here, I wish Happy Birthday Eric. I'm very, very proud of you. DT

Must be one of my relatives from East of the Mississippi

11-MAR-08

A small zoo in Indiana obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available. Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00? Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under five conditions: `First`, Bobby Lee said, `I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips.` The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition. `Second`, he said, `She must wear a Dale Earnhardt Forever T-Shirt.` The keeper again readily agreed to this condition. `Third`, he said, `you cain't never tell no one about this.` The keeper again readily agreed to this condition. `Fourth`, Bobby Lee said, `I want all the children raised Southern Baptist.` Once again it was agreed. `And last,` Bobby Lee said, `I'll need another week to come up with the $500.00.` (no way am I signing this)

ManEater

11-MAR-08

Are you going to organize another ride to Arkansas this year?

Party

07-MAR-08

A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him and said, `My name is Carmen.` `That's a beautiful name,` he replied, `Is it a family name?` `No,` she said. `I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most -- cars and men.` `What's your name?` she asked. With a smile the man replied, `B.J. Titsenbeer.`

HAPPY ARBORDAY BIRTHGIRL!!

06-MAR-08

Wait a minnit. I messed that up too. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARBORGIRL!!!!

Lie Like A Doberman

28-FEB-08

As a native born Texan I have always felt obliged to be ready to `Show The Flag` for my home state whenever possible. You know, it really is true that Everything is Bigger In Texas.` Except Alaska. I was riding in my Uncle Robert's Buick when we heard on the news that Alaska had been admitted to the Union. I quit concentrating on the legs belonging to my cousin Lynn long enough to wish out loud, `Why didn't they cut it in two, so it wouldn't be bigger?` Uncle Robert, who had been the first in my branch of the Thompson's to graduate from a 4 year Institution of Higher Learning, said, `That would have made TWO states bigger than Texas.` I was genuinely depressed, until Lynn crossed her legs. Years later, in the mid-70's, the Navy stationed me in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex, and I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Almost 5 years later the Navy transferred me to Philadelphia and for a while I thought I had died and gone to hell. I took a lot of Texas with me to Pennsylvania. My Dallas Cowboys Coffee Cup, Texas Flag, Cowboy pennants - and remember - this was the late 70's - the era of Roger Staubach and Tom Landy and Super Bowls won. It was also the era of the Philadelphia Eagles and Dick Vermeil and the building I worked in was about 3 blocks from Veterans Stadium. During the drive from Dallas to Philadlephia I somehow lost my flat, Midwestern Newscaster's brogue-less speech patern; by the time I arrived at Naval Base Philadelphia I had a Texas Twang that would curl the hair of a longhorn steer. My pride in all things Texas got me into trouble, occasionally. Decorating my desk with coffee cups, pennants and photos of Stahbauch and Too Tall Jones at the time of an Eagles vs Cowboys home game - at the same time as annual enlisted evaluations were due - was probably a bad move. I was once denied fuel at a gas dock on Chesapeake Bay by a Steelers fan who took offense at my T-Shirt which read, "And On The Eighth Day God Created The Dallas Cowboys." The silliest debacle came when several of the members of my department went on a trip to Norfolk, for a two-day school. I just figgered I was being entertaining with my stories and jokes about Texas, plus, being in Virginia was pleasant for me because I could understand what people said. Then there was the incident in the head. I share a physical trait common with many males of 1/8th or more American Indian descent - short legs, and a long trunk. Plus, it's not that I'm necessarily short, but I'm not very tall. So my legs are even shorter than they might be, if, say, I had long legs and a short trunk. Add in the fact that about the time I graduated from elementary school, I realized that urinals in men's restrooms are all installed by Giants. At a giant height above the floor. And the floor is where my feet live, which are connected to my short legs. I will skip the descriptive part at this point and pick up the conversation, in the head, during a break. Someone: Thompson, you are such a phoney bastard. Me: Wha? Someone: Here you do nothing but brag about being a Texan and how everything about Texas is better than anyplace else and you come in here and squat to pee. Me: Well, now, yeah, I went to the Doc the other day and he said I had a hernia and I had to promise him that for the next three weeks I wouldn't lift anything heavy. DT

Mean As Hell

27-FEB-08

The devil in hell we're told was chained a thousand years he there remained He neither complained nor did he groan but was determined to start a hell of his own Where he could torment the souls of men without being chained in a prison pen So he asked the Lord if he had on hand anything left when he made this land. The Lord said yes there's a plenty on hand but if I left it down by the Rio Grande The fact is ol' boy the stuff is so poor I don't think you could use it as a hell anymore But the devil went down to look at the truck And said if he took it as a gift he was stuck For after lookin' that over carefully and well, he said this place is too dry for a hell. But in order to get it off his hand the Lord promised the devil to water the land. So trade was closed and deed was given and the Lord went back to his home in heaven. And the devil said now I got all what's needed to make a good hell and he succeeded. He began by putting thorns all over the trees He mixed up the sand with millions of fleas He scattered tarantulas along the roads put thorns on cactus and horns on toads Lenghtened the horns of the Texas steer put an addition to the rabbits ear Put a little devil in the bronco steed and poisoned the feet of the centipede. The rattlesnake bites you the scorpion stings The mosquito delights you with his buzzing wings. The sunbursts are there and so the ants And if you sit down you'll need to have soles on your pants. The wild boar roams on the black chapparral it's a hell of a place that he has for a hell. The heat in the summers are a hundred and ten too hot for the devil too hot for men; The red pepper grows upon the banks of the brook The Locals use it in all that they cook. Just dine in with one of 'em and you're bound to shout I've hell on the inside as well as the out!!!! My hands are calloused July to July I use the Big Dipper to navigate by; Fight off the wolves to drink from my well so I have to be mean as hell. A sheep herder came and he put up a fence I saw him one day but I ain't seen him since But if you need mutton we got mutton to sell We're cowpunchers and we're mean as hell. Neither me nor my pony's got a pedigree but he takes me where I'm wantin' to be; I'll ride him to death and when he is fell I'll get me another one . . . mean as hell. We get up when the sun's just raisin' his head; Cause the boys in the bunkhouse are waitin' to be fed. They rise in chime with the five thirty bell And the best one of any of 'em . . . is mean as hell. Written by Johnny Cash

World ends at noon today; video at 6 pm

26-FEB-08

Scientist have nailed down how and when the Earth will cease to exist. The sun will slowly expand into a red giant, pushing the Earth farther out into space, but not far enough. Our home planet will be snagged by the sun's outer atmosphere, gradually plunging to its doom inside the fiery stellar furnace. Previous projections had all figured that the Earth would avoid falling into the sun, even during our star's red-giant phase. The good news: This won't happen for another 7.6 billion years. They can't be more precise than that? I don't watch the 6 p.m. news - - - I wanted to see it in person. DT

Running Bare

25-FEB-08

A guy was having a rainy day tryst with a married lady when they heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. The woman went into total panic-mode. `Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!` The guy said, `I can't jump out the window. It's raining out there!` `If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!` she replied. `He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!` So the guy scrambled out of bed, grabbed his clothes and jumped out the window. As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had jumped right into the middle of the town's annual marathon. Not much else he could do, so he just ran along with about 300 marathon participants. Naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer. `Do you always run in the nude?` one asked. `Oh yes!` he replied, gasping in air. `It feels so wonderfully free!` Another runner moved alongside. `Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?` `Oh, yes` our friend answered breathlessly. `That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!` Then a third runner cast her eyes a little lower and asked, `Do you always wear a condom when you run?` `Nope...just when it's raining.`

Honeymoon in WHERE?????

21-FEB-08

Just curious. Name a location that would be a worse place to go on a Honeymoon than Phoenix. My Pick: Adak, Alaska

Conversational Prime Directives

07-FEB-08

Well, I managed to violate one of the Conversational Prime Directives (Religion) - here's a shot at the other two: Poll Question 1: Do you think Prozac has a positive or negative effect on a person's sex life? Question 2: Which of these was the better Vice President of the United States? Daniel Tompkins: 1817-1825 Or (None): 1842 - 1845